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Why Argentina Has One of the Best Passports in the World

Yes, anyone can get an Argentine passport. Here’s how I did it 🇦🇷

Quick highlights: visa-free access to the EU, UK, Japan, and 172 other countries, delicious steaks, fast and surprisingly simple naturalization process, and a classy mushroom emblem on the cover. A great addition to my collection!

When a Baby Becomes a Global Strategy

There are countries where a baby gets a passport - and in a few, the parents do too. As ancient Jewish wisdom says: “A child is not a luxury, but a mode of transportation.”

Why Argentina Is the Smartest Place to Have a Baby

Of all the viable options for birth-based citizenship, there are really just eight decent ones: USA, Canada, Mexico, Argentina, Brazil, Portugal, Chile, and Ecuador.

Canada and Portugal require prior residency before birth.

The U.S.? Risk of a hospital bill the size of a small plane, no passport for parents, and future banking headaches for the child. No thanks - I’ll just buy the plane.

Mexico, Brazil, Chile, and Ecuador require several years of residency before the parents get citizenship.

Which leaves… Argentina.

How Citizenship-by-Birth Works in Argentina

Here’s the process: you fly in with your pregnant partner on a Russian passport, give birth, and the baby receives permanent residency and a passport within a week. Parents can apply for citizenship right away.

Fast-track court decisions can take 6 months. Worst-case? Up to 5 years stuck in bureaucracy. How to speed it up? File the right court motions, and show up to politely nudge the clerks: Hola, señor, how’s your day? (Pro tip: don’t do this in bad Spanish. Our team has experience - say the code word capybara or a discount if you’ve read this far.)

Medical Experience: Like a Top Private Clinic for $4K

Argentina’s healthcare is excellent - my wife was happy. We spent about $4,000 for a birth experience on par with elite clinics: a private two-room suite and an English-speaking doctor. Plus, they fully support partner births. I got a funny protective suit and walked right in.

Don’t Want Kids? You Can Still Get Citizenship (Slower)

Для нежелающих рожать детей в Аргентине процесс получения гражданства почти идентичный, но дольше на 2 года 🙂 Хотя с учётом последних изменений— время на получение гражданства между родившими и нерожавшими может усредниться.

Argentina Feels Like Home Now

I’ve written more about life in Argentina (see links below). But I’ll say this: the country surprised me in the best way. It’s the kind of place you’ll want to come back to every European winter. Now I return - as a citizen.

Vamos, Argentina!

News in Morse Code: The Whales Have Arrived at Valdés!

There I was, peacefully cruising through vineyards in Mendoza, checking out museums, when suddenly it hit me - a short, telegram-like update: whales have arrived at Valdés. Stop everything.

Why Do Whales Come to Valdés?

🐳 Turns out, baby whales are scared of the big ocean.

So whale mothers bring them to calm bays to raise them. On the Atlantic, the coziest one is at Valdés - a peninsula shaped exactly like a whale’s tail. There’s probably an ancient whale legend about it, but GPT couldn’t translate it yet, so you’ll just have to trust me.

Getting to Valdés Is Easier Than It Sounds

It’s a 600 km drive straight across Argentina - one day on the road and you’re there, beating the tourist crowds. Here’s what to do once you arrive.

Puerto Madryn — Coffee and Whales Right From the Beach

Puerto Madryn — большой город перед полуостровом. Выпейте кофе в Casa Hulpe and head to Playa el Doradillo, a wild beach where you can spot whales from the shore. Best part? More whales than tourists. That’s rare.

Puerto Pirámides — Boats, Pizza, and Peak Whale Energy

Puerto Pirámides is a tiny port village where boats head out to sea. Downsides of low season: by 1 p.m., all tours are done and the captains are already drinking. Upsides: you get the boat all to yourself. Book early via WhatsApp. In the evening, there’s one pizza place and one local bar. Absolute charming shithole.

Next Day: Drive Across the Peninsula for Sheep and Ostriches

The whale boats feel prehistoric - and exhausting. Spend the night in the village, then drive across the peninsula the next morning. Expect pastoral landscapes, fluffy sheep, and the biggest ostrich herds in all of Argentina.

Standing Next to a Whale Changes Something in You

Everyone knows whales are huge. But until you’re right next to one, you don’t really get it. These ancient giants breathe in and out like the ocean and the whole planet are breathing with them. Must see!

Mate in Argentina — More Than a Drink, It’s a Way of Life

In Argentina, mate isn’t just tea — it’s a full-blown cultural ritual.

People drink it everywhere and all the time: shopkeepers, bus drivers, cabinet ministers, even surgeons mid-operation.

The Proper Way to Prepare Mate (Don’t Mess It Up)

Mate must be made fresh every time. Special dried leaves go into a special cup, with a bit of special honey, and then a special straw (called a bombilla) is placed in just right. Then, it’s topped with hot (not boiling) water. Stir gently, don’t shake. James Bond rules apply.

Leaving the house without your mate cup and thermos? In Argentina, that’s like walking outside naked. People will notice.

Hot Water Is More Vital Than Money (Literally)

You need to sip mate every five minutes (otherwise, Argentinians might be forced to work — and they’re not about that life). That’s why you’ll see signs everywhere offering hot water refills: hay agua (Not to be confused with Milei’s favorite phrase "there’s no money": no hay plata).

Gas Stations = Thermo Refueling Stations

Argentine gas stations get it. They install big water boilers with the perfect mate temperature. Travelers pull over, refill their thermoses, and keep the ritual going. I do the same - though mine is usually for coffee.

My Grandfather, Coffee, and a Bit of Cultural Mischief

Мой дедушка (он тоже был автопутешественником) всегда говорил, что самое важное в длинной дороге — хороший спешалти кофе, а гражданством можно и рискнуть, вдруг никто не узнает.

What Local Traditions Do You Break in Your Country?

Buenos Aires Isn’t on the Ocean — Here’s What You Need to Know

☕️ Secret Argentina: A hidden coffee shop on the way to the coast. Looking at the map, you’d think Buenos Aires sits on the ocean — but it doesn’t. It’s on the muddy Río de la Plata, and the real waves and blue water are 400 km away.

Cafequevá — A Rare Specialty Coffee Break Midway

A rare sight on Argentine highways: an actual specialty coffee stop exactly halfway to the ocean! Save this spot and send me a photo if you visit: Cafequevá. Cafequevá.

А если вы хотите стать настоящим аргентицем- просто попросите налить ещё кипятка в ваш мате.

Heading for the Ocean? Plan for August

Come August, you’ll want to aim for even farther coastal escapes. More on that in the next post.

How I Found the Best Light Museum in South America

Here’s my go-to trick for finding hidden gems while traveling: I scan the map for five-star hotels in the middle of nowhere - then ask ChatGPT what’s around.

Вот так я нашёл лучший музей современного искусства на континенте — музей света Джеймса Таррела в Хухуе, на севере Аргентины. Это незабываемый опыт.

Getting There — Gravel Roads, River Crossings, and a Vineyard Hotel

From the nearest village, it’s a 3-hour drive on dirt roads. If it rains, the river might block your way entirely. But then, suddenly, you arrive at a peaceful hotel on one of Argentina’s oldest vineyards. I don’t drink, but the view of grapevines and mountains from the window? Absolutely.

How to Sneak Into a Fully Booked, Adults-Only Light Museum

Next to the hotel is the museum. Normally, visits require booking a month in advance, and children aren’t allowed. But for fellow lovers of spontaneity: here’s my hack. Show up just before closing, when no one else is around, and convince the Spanish-speaking staff that your group of ten adults absolutely includes your 3-month-old baby.

Magic happens fast in Latin America. Once I booked the hotel and bought 10 tickets, suddenly an English-speaking guide appeared, like Duolingo Owl in real life.

What Is a Skyspace and Why It Feels Like a Hallucination

Turrell’s art is all about perception - how natural and artificial light interacts with space. Imagine walking through a perfectly silent optical illusion or a sober Gaspar Noé trip. In reality, you’re just sitting on a bench in a white room, staring at a square of pure blue sky. Luckily, in Jujuy, the sky is always blue.

The Largest Skyspace in the World — And It’s Here

Photos won’t capture it, and neither will words. You have to drive through rivers and across mountains and feel it. This is Turrell’s only personal museum and home to the largest Skyspace in the world.

There Are 90 Skyspaces Worldwide — One Is Inside a Volcano

There are about 90 Skyspaces globally - one of them is inside a volcano in Arizona (because why not?). I’ve marked them all on my secret epic places map and fully plan to see them all.

What’s the Weirdest Museum You’ve Visited? Let Me Know